Triumph and Defeat

Yesterday was awesome... And it sucked…
I suppose that means that I ended up neutral, but why is it always the negative that sticks with you the longest?
The good news first (because that’s the way my day went)… I got a car!!
I got a car AND I successfully drove it home… no accidents, no deaths, I did GREAT. I know this may seem like a bit of an overreaction… I’ve been driving for 10 years now so getting back behind the wheel after 2 months shouldn’t be SUCH a big deal, but there are a few things you have to understand in order to fully comprehend the magnitude of my achievement.
1. Brits drive like maniacs. Certifiable, hardcore, suicidal maniacs. There doesn’t seem to be any recognized speed limits on any of the roads except around the speed cameras… where everyone slows down dramatically right before (almost causing a pile up) and speeds off after (like the start of the Indy 500). The roads are VERY narrow and lanes seem to be more of a suggestion than a rule. There are very few lights, mostly roundabouts… and the traffic rules for roundabouts are supposed to be ‘give way to the right’ but are more along the lines of ‘survival of the fittest’. Oh yeah, and if someone feels the need to pull out into traffic or stop to let someone out they do it… right there (wherever there may be)… it doesn’t matter if there is a gap for them to pull into or not… it doesn’t matter if they’re dropping somebody off in the middle of a busy road… they do it right then, right there…. Awesome.
2. My ‘new’ car is a manual. I have never owned a manual. I have driven stick-shifts before… a few times… mostly unsuccessfully. I’ve gotten better over the years but stalling or peeling out are still fairly regular occurrences. Adding to the joy of this experience is the fact that my ‘new’ car isn’t so new and the clutch is, I am told, very soft. The few manuals I have driven did not have soft clutches… at least I don’t think so, but again, my experience is pretty much nil.
3. British roads are the epitome of confusing. They twist left, they twist right, they split and curve and veer and merge without rhyme or reason and without warning. They are all marked differently, some have posted names, some don’t, some change names in the middle of the road without being marked as doing so, and I have a sneaking suspicion some don’t have names to be posted at all. Many of the two-way streets are barely wide enough for two cars to pass each other, and all along the side of these already narrow streets cars have parked making it literally impossible to drive in the proper lane. Sometimes two cars will come head to head… Brits LOVE to play chicken in these circumstances… and you have to hope that there is a gap in the parked cars to pull into so one of you can pass… or you have to back up until you find a gap, hoping somebody doesn’t come up behind you. Forget the grids you find in the states… these roads seem to have been designed by a 3 year old with a Crayola and a map.
4. I drive to and from work in the dark, freezing conditions that are winter in the UK. This means ice… slick roads… foggy windows… general bad conditions. As if there weren’t already enough factors against me: other drivers insanity, my own deficiencies in a manual, learning to drive on the left side of the road for the first time, attempting to navigate the ball-of-yarn roads… now mother nature herself seems to be conspiring against me.
So, revisiting my triumph for the day… I drove my ‘new’ car home… by myself… and made it in one, undamaged piece. This is a big deal. (as I’m sure you now understand)
I arrived home riding on a cloud of endorphins and a little adrenaline (I said I made it, I didn’t say it wasn’t scary) only to face the day’s defeat.
First, Dexter greeted me at the door… odd, since he gets locked into the bathroom when I leave for the day. The bathroom door itself only locks from the inside and, by some installation error, doesn’t stay shut unless it is locked. Since I leave Dexter in there all day I had started blocking off the door with one of the heavy power transformers I got from base to make my US stuff work with UK power. Well, he had gotten out. And peed all over the hallway. And gotten into the only box that wasn’t shut away in a room and pulled out the travel bags I had in the box and chewed them. First, I yelled at him for peeing in the hallway and chewing the bags, then I made my way back to the bathroom to assess the damage in there. He had (as he always does) peed in the shower area, but, much to my surprise and chagrin the floor at the doorway had brownish-red stains as well. At first I thought he had scraped through the paint on the door and this stain was the result of the wood door being shredded, but at closer inspection I realized he had scratched at the tile floor so much he had scraped his claws down to the quick and rubbed the pads of his paws raw. So now I’m mad at him, and alternately feeling like a terrible owner because my puppy has mangled his own paws. Ugh.
I still needed to run out to the store to buy a GPS so I could find my way BACK to work in the morning… it was about 5:30 and everything closes before 6:30, but at this point I’m feeling so terrible I can’t imagine leaving him alone for another second. Ultimately I cleaned him up, ran out to get my new TomTom, and came home to spend the rest of the night giving him some attention and setting up my satnav. (we’ll skip the shopping drama this time) I had wanted to go to the gym again… Monday’s trip left me feeling so accomplished… but the guilt from my pup’s injured paws kept me at home.
So, I was feeling like crap… even more so having just come crashing down from me sense of accomplishment at getting home… and I started wondering if I’m training Dexter right… am I a good owner? is he happy? am I completely selfish for getting a puppy? do I even have any business having a puppy right now? And I started questioning how I’m going to accomplish other goals… when am I EVER going to find time for the gym? how am I EVER going to build a personal social life if all of my time goes to Dexter and the gym? etc etc etc
I talked to Justin on Skype for a while… which made me feel better about the whole day in general… and slept on it…
Somehow the wheels in my head kept spinning in my sleep and I woke up early with some solutions to my problems. After our walk/run, Dexter and I had a discussion about my ideas while I did my makeup.
First, I’m going to take Dexter for a run/walk every morning… he’s still lousy on the leash… not bad, just forgets which side of me to walk on sometimes… and I know I’m not supposed to really run with him on the leash until he’s older… but it’s fun for him to jog along beside me for small bursts at a time, and it gets us both up and moving in the morning. After the run I’ll play fetch with him in the backyard while I eat my cereal.
Second, he’s staying in the kennel… all day. I’m not leaving him in the bathroom anymore. Originally I didn’t want to do this to him because I felt like I’m gone to long to do so, but my work hours aren’t going to change so we might as well both get used to it now. This has two purposes… one, it is really going to let the housetraining sink in. By allowing him to pee in the bathroom everyday I’m basically contradicting my own housetraining… he CAN hold it, he’s old enough now… he just doesn’t have a reason to. Now that he’s stuck in his kennel he will learn to hold it. And two… it’ll keep him from hurting himself and my property. I give him a towel and a toy so he can sleep comfortably and chew on something he’s allowed to and he won’t be hurting himself anymore.
Third, he gets his play time every night before I workout, and I get to workout. I’ll do my long workouts Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and he’ll get longer play time on Tuesday and Thursday and the weekends.
Finally… I’m going to look for a puppy training class. Again, this isn’t something I was going to do originally. I’m already training him myself and he does all the basic (sit, stay, come) with ease. He plays fetch like a pro and brings the ball back, sits in front of me, drops the ball, and waits. Once I pour his food into his bowl he waits until I give him the go-ahead to eat. Lay-down, heel, and shake are still works in progress. I think the training is going along nicely. BUT, I think puppy-training will be beneficial for both of us… he’ll get to socialise with other dogs and get used to them, I’ll get to meet new people, and I’ll be reminded how good he really is doing compared to other puppies. This final part of the plan hinges on me actually finding a class within a reasonable distance and with a reasonable price… but I have high hopes.
So there it is… yesterday was a trial, but I’m through it now. I took Dex out for a walk this morning and we played fetch over cereal, he’s in his kennel for the first full day, I drove into work today with only a couple of hiccups (like getting lost in the parking structure this morning), and I suppose we’ll see how everything else goes once I’m off work. I have high hopes…