double parking

The gym that I go to has a parking lot the size of a shoebox. As such, cars double and triple park, blocking each other in on the regular. The management has a sign-in sheet at the entrance that you fill out with your name, car make and model, color, and license plate and a note that says “Please allow up to 10 minutes for necessary car movements.” (or something along those lines).
I was just finishing up my set and heading over to do some ‘extra credit’ pull-ups, when my car was called over the announcement system. I had already finished my workout for the most part, all I had left was my ab stuff, but in the interest of kindness I figured I could do that at home, so I grabbed my jacket and keys and went to the door. I literally got there as she was hanging up the phone from announcing my name… that’s how fast I was. As I’m signing out, one of the trainers says yells over to me something about how short my workout was… basically just teasing. I yell back up at him that 30 minutes isn’t bad for lifting, considering I do my cardio before I come and as I’m saying this the woman that is apparently waiting for me claps… in my face… and says “Enough Enough. I’m going to be late.”

This bothers me for a few reasons:
1. She clapped in my face. Excuse me, but if I don’t know you (and shoot, maybe even if I DO know you) keep your hands out of my face… especially if you feel the need to bang them together and make an extremely unnecessary racket.

2. In the 5 minutes preceding them calling me down to move my car, they had called two other cars down. I was the first one there of the three (although I was the last one called) and I was so fast the lady announcing my information had not even hung up the phone. When the sheet says allow for up to 10 minutes and I’ve taken all of 10 SECONDS, don’t rush me… I’m ALREADY doing you a favor.

3. I was not taking any EXTRA time in what I was doing. As I’m talking to the trainer I’m signing out of the gym and putting on my jacket… the whole evolution, INCLUDING me talking to the trainer, was taking all of 10 additional seconds. Infact, her interruption was more of a distraction than the farewell’s.

After giving the lady the confused and annoyed look she deserved, I finished my goodbye and turned to leave. As we’re walking out of the building she’s on my heels saying “I really need you to hurry up. I can’t be late for work again or they’ll fire me. You have me completely blocked in and I can’t afford to lose my job.”

Again:
1. This lady looked old enough to be my mother if not my grandmother. What kind of job do you have that you go to work at 7pm and if you are 2 minutes late they will fire you?? I think even McDonalds gives you a little more leeway than that.

2. It is not my problem that you are chronically tardy and the 10 seconds it is taking me to put on my jacket will be the proverbial straw-that-broke-the-camels-back that gets you fired. Since when does 10 seconds make that much of a difference anyway? In my experience late is late… if 10 seconds is going to make that much of a difference maybe you should wrap up your workout a little earlier next time.

3. Everyone blocks everyone else in. It’s a known fact. The paper clearly says allow for up to 10 minutes, so what are you doing harassing me when you should have been prepared for a situation like this? What would you do if I was in the bathroom when they paged me? Or in the shower? Or in the pool?

4. What in the world gave you the notion that I give a crap about your personal problems? First, you invade my personal space and now you’re using precious oxygen to tell me you personal sob story?

I shoot a “I came down as quickly as I could. And I was much faster than anyone else so you should be grateful for that,” and vault over the side rail to my car. I was in a good mood after my workout… still riding the endorphins and good feelings from an earlier conversation with one of the trainers… and I wasn’t about to let this old nag ruin it.

I get to my car, and sure enough there’s her little POS… bumper-to-bumper with my car. That’s right… she’s hit me. Granted, there’s not really any damage that I can see… and my car is an old junker anyway… but there it is… her bumper and my bumper getting as cozy as lovers.
It’s obvious from looking at where she was parked and looking at where I’m parked that there was no way she was going to get out until I moved, but apparently she had attempted pushing my car out of the way. I point this out to her and say “It looks like you hit my car.” I’m not really expecting anything, but she’s made a nuisance of herself and I wanted to point it out.

She responds “No I didn’t.”

Bear in mind I’m standing all of 6 inches away from where our bumpers are kissing.

I say “Yes you did. I’m looking at our bumpers right now. Your bumper is rubbed up against my bumper. It’s rubber, so I don’t think there’s any damage, but you should be more careful.”
She looks at what I’m looking at and dismissively states “I’m not touching you. I’m in a hurry. Just move.”

1. Lady, your impatience is completely unwarranted. You shouldn’t park in the back end of a parking lot and expect NOT to be blocked in.

2. You car is CLEARLY touching mine. Yes yes, I know it’s a crappy 80-something junker… but it’s MY crappy 80-something junker and if I wanted to throw a fit about the fact that you decided to let our cars get intimate I damn well can. Especially considering the magnificent pain in the ass you have decided to be up to this point.

3. Don’t dismiss me like I don’t know what I’m looking at. I don’t care if you’re 40 or 400… I’m not stupid and I know what I see. Pulling a rude dismissive tone with me when I’ve already gone out of my way to be nice to you is not something likely to make me want to continue to cooperate kindly.

Sometimes I wish I was as much of an asshole as the people I constantly encounter. Seriously, who told these people that it’s okay to treat other people like this? I’m the young one here… I thought it’s the ‘punk kids’ that have no manners ‘these days’. What is UP with rude old people?!

Anyhow, I didn’t care to make a scene… people like this get their comeuppance eventually… so I just got in the car and started it up.

Sure enough, the wheels of fate and karma turned, and as I started up the car to move, the other two people who were trying to leave and the two people that had to move so those two people could leave decided to join us in the parking lot. Of course, these 4 cars were in between us and the exit, so we both had to sit there for about 5 minutes while two moved out of the way, the other two left, and the original two re-parked.

I wonder if she got fired.