not even news-worthy

Tristan rides to tube to and from work everyday… a fairly typical activity for a Londoner (Londonite?). Yesterday he didn’t make to work on time though.
At Finchley Station a man decided to throw himself infront of the oncoming train. That’s right… he jumped off the platform and into the front of an oncoming train. Tristan was there for it and said it was grisly and awful. Women were screaming and crying (I’m betting some men were too, but they don’t get as much press)… there was blood everywhere… he even saw what remained of the body.
I came into work this morning and I couldn’t find anything about the event in the news. Anywhere.

I told a couple of the people that I worked with what happened and the responses where all somewhere between dismissive (“So What?”), flippant (“That’s not surprising.”) and mocking (“I wish I had seen that. I would have laughed my…”).
It all really got me thinking about the whole situation.

At first, I think I just felt the general compassionate horror that Tristan had to bear witness to this. Seeing a person die isn’t easy for anyone (I would think)… and especially not in such a gruesome manner. Maybe we’re all a bit desensitized by modern movies, TV shows, and video games… but I think most people can still separate the real from the fake, and to see what used to be a person now smeared all over the platform has to have some sort of impact, right? Plus, how would it feel to have to tell your boss, “Sorry I’m so late. I watched a guy jump infront of a train today and they shut down the station until they could pick up the pieces.”

Then I got to thinking about who this guy was… and wondering what exactly his goal was (besides the obvious, of course). I suppose I have some understanding of depression… I was, afterall, a teenage girl at one point. Seriously though, I think a lot of people have had their own experiences with their “low points”… different though they are for everyone… and it makes me a bit sad that something drove this man to this point… or rather, that he allowed himself to be driven to this point.
What really gets me though is the manner in which he chose to end his life. Was it a split second decision? Did he just get off the phone with his boss who fired him or his wife who left him and saw the train coming and thought ‘Oh well’? Or did something happen yesterday or last week that led him to plan this? And if that’s the case… what pushes someone to suicide in such a spectacular and public manner? Was it a final “F*** you” to whoever he felt had done him injustice? Or maybe he just felt so anonymous in his life that he wanted to be noticed in his death…?
Times like this I wish I knew a little bit about psychology.

The other person I keep thinking about is the poor driver of the train. I believe all the trains that go through that particular station have drivers (I know some of the trains don’t)… I can’t imagine going to work… one day the same as the next… and having a person jump out infront of me. Does the driver feel responsible in some way? And what about the people that have to clean up the tracks? What about all the people stranded at the station… waiting to go home or get to work… kids riding the tube after school… parents with their children, having to explain…? Uck… what an awful situation.

I suppose the final sad note in this whole situation is that it didn’t even warrant a blurb in the news. Part of me thinks this is a sorry oversight, but another part of me applauds the local media for ignoring this instead of using the gruesome details to sell a few copies. The Brits I work with said things like this happen all the time and they simply stopped covering it in the news… whether that is to stop encouraging it or what, I don’t know… but the whole thing is just, well, sad.